The Hard Stuff: Grief

It has been 730.49 days since I lost my best friend. I have never done this before. It has been one of the hardest and most healing experiences I have faced  in my 40 years. I remember in the beginning, people would share that it never gets easier, you just get stronger. I was scared of that. I was scared of how I would get stronger. What would I need to get stronger for? Oh sweet book friends, there was plenty.  

One way I coped at the beginning, was reading picture books about grief. I needed to see that I was going to be ok. I remember sitting on the couch in my family room just crying. I did not understand why because like I shared above I have never done this (aka losing a parent) before. 

The books I read helped me. They reminding me that my mom’s spirit still lives on. The memories of her help me get through the sad times. One book that was (is) especially helpful was (is) Calling the Wind. The sweet story about losing a loved one wrapped me in a blanket so tight that all my tears just fell into the soft space. The characters inside these books helped me feel not alone when I wasn’t ready to see the real world. 

If you are going through a difficult time, I am sorry. Grief and sadness feels so isolating but know we all go through it sometime in our lives. My mom loved to give gifts. She loved a good theme just like me. The December she passed I created a gift around her love for teachers. If you need to get a gift for someone who is hurting anything from the heart is exactly what they need and want. 

I can with my whole heart say, it doesn’t get easier, but I did get stronger. My mom would want you to have her spaghetti recipe. Enjoy! 

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